What does it mean to be a parent? This thought has been on my mind for a while now. Every parent has their own values and ideas of how to raise their kids. Some are better than others but what defines a good parent? Not everyone is going to have the same definition as me and that doesn’t mean that they are any less of a parent. Sometimes though, I really wonder about certain parents and how their actions are justified in their own head. Do these people really think that what they are doing is benefiting their children? No, I can’t imagine that to be the case… I would imagine that these types of parents just never quite matured enough to understand that once you become a parent, your kids become priority over yourself.
So let’s talk about what being a parent means. Just for fun, I looked it up in the dictionary:
PARENT
1. one that begets or brings forth offspring
2. an animal or plant that is regarded in relation to its offspring
Hmm. I don’t know about you but for me, this doesn’t cut it. There’s so much more to being a “good” parent. Here are a few things I personally think are important.
* Love your child. Tell your children every day that you love them and take every opportunity you can to be affectionate. Don’t just say it but show it. When all is said and done, if nothing else, I want my kids to remember their childhood as being full of love.
* Recognize your child for who they are. Every child is different and they are not you. Don’t push them to be someone they aren’t; they will love you for it.
* Don’t push your child into activities they aren’t interested in. Simple enough, right? Well, it’s easy to encourage your children to do something because you think it would be good for them. Parents don’t always know best. With that said, I also think it’s important to make sure your child follows through with the commitment that they do make.
* Discipline your child. Be kind but firm. Follow through and don’t give in to begging and whining. Kids thrive on boundaries and need to know they can’t walk all over their parents.
* Be involved with their education. Your kids are in school for a big portion of the day… shouldn’t you know who’s caring for them? Parents and teachers should be a team, working together for the best of the kid. Ask regularly how your child is doing in school. Set aside a time to complete homework; help when needed but don’t do it for them. Ask your child every day how school was, what they liked, what they didn’t. Show an interest.
* Spend quality time with your kids. Show them you value this time and their company.
* Pick your battles! Don’t argue about all the little things you don’t like; save the battles for the big things.
There are tons of other things I could add but these are the big ones that come to mind as I make my way down the road of parenthood. Most are easier said than done and maybe don’t come naturally. It’s a learning process and we all make mistakes. The sign of a good parent is that you learn from those mistakes and you grow.
Signs of a not-so-good parent? When your kids are more mature, responsible, and caring than you are. Just saying…
“It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it myself.”
